An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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