I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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