New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
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Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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