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I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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