This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this