Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I love sluts.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I end my prayers with that every single night.

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  (913): I love sluts. (402): I end my prayers with that every single night. http://tfl.nu/8il0
  Replies (8) Good night (3667) Bad night (580)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"

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  (573): I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!" http://tfl.nu/oyys
  Replies (22) Good night (5387) Bad night (1292) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?

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  (702): So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night? http://tfl.nu/xjy9
  Replies (62) Good night (647) Bad night (8106) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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  (760): new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever. http://tfl.nu/8efz
  Replies (33) Good night (571) Bad night (7992) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  you would not believe what I got pierced last night...

  (540): View more from Virginia

  son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.

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  (434): you would not believe what I got pierced last night... (540): son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear. http://tfl.nu/q4w6
  Replies (61) Good night (1760) Bad night (6261)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.

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  (540): At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke. http://tfl.nu/qku8
  Replies (8) Good night (855) Bad night (3585) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?

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  (267): how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch? http://tfl.nu/7fe5
  Replies (16) Good night (4961) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He violated my cat. I was not impressed.

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  (207): He violated my cat. I was not impressed. http://tfl.nu/2ip6
  Replies (22) Good night (818) Bad night (5640) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255

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  (567): i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255 http://tfl.nu/6ybk
  Replies (11) Good night (3418) Bad night (1153) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

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  (727): it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling http://tfl.nu/kv01
  Replies (6) Good night (2470) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?

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  (812): Is it too early to say this year has been a blur? http://tfl.nu/q8ht
  Replies (2) Good night (977) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (835): View more from Pennsylvania

  You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"

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  (835): You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood" http://tfl.nu/u3xk
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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  (702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.

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  (509): He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him. http://tfl.nu/5ca1
  Replies (3) Good night (475) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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  (202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt

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