Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy