I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
