Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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