I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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