So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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