my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
