I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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