How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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