Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.