told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
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Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
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Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button