apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
