I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
