at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This can only be settled by a dance off.