What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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