His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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