words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
