Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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