Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize