my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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