just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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