went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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