Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
