His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
