I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize