ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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