I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize