You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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