Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
