Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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