I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize