Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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