Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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