3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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