It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
