So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
