Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
