38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
