yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
