I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
