Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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