I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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