D3 body, D1 cock
My liver just broke up with me...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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