This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed