Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
smell my finger.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
