I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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