I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
