I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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