She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
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Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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