They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize